If You Did These Things Growing Up, You’re Old

I celebrated my 39th birthday in March and even though I still feel young, a bittersweet realization washed over me: I was officially inching closer to the milestone of 40. It was a moment that triggered a wave of introspection and reflection on the passing years and the undeniable truth that time waits for no one.

As I blew out the candles on my cake, a sense of nostalgia enveloped me. Memories of my youth, filled with carefree adventures and boundless energy, seemed like distant echoes. It was as if I could hear the whispers of time reminding me of the days that had slipped away, replaced by the responsibilities and experiences that come with adulthood.

I can’t help but notice the subtle signs of aging etched upon my face and the slight graying of my hair. Wrinkles that once seemed unimaginable now greet me each time I looked in the mirror. The realization hit me: I’m no longer the vibrant, invincible version of myself I once knew. The passing years had left their mark, reminding me that I am indeed growing older.

Getting older is a natural part of life’s journey. I recognize that with age comes wisdom, resilience, and a deeper understanding of oneself. It also comes with the knowledge that people my age (and older) have done things that younger generations will never fully understand.

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If you did any of the following, I hate to break it to you… but you’re old.

• Hearing someone yell, "Get off the internet, I need to use the phone!"

  In the not-so-distant past, there existed a time when the internet and phone were mutually exclusive entities. It was a time when the simple act of going online meant surrendering the use of the phone line. The era of dial-up internet connections brought with it a peculiar dance of timing and prioritization, where one had to choose between browsing the web or making a phone call.

  Those who experienced this era vividly remember the distinct sound of a dial-up modem connecting to the internet, a symphony of screeches and beeps that signaled the beginning of an online journey. Engaging in internet activities meant dedicating your sole focus to the virtual realm, as the outside world, including phone communication, was temporarily put on hold.

• Using a pencil to rewind a cassette tape.

  Ah, the art of cassette tape maintenance! Back in the day, rewinding cassette tapes with a pencil was our unconventional superpower. We wielded that No. 2 pencil like a magical wand, fixing the tangled mess of unruly tape with expert precision. It was a quirky ritual that transformed us into amateur tape technicians, proving that sometimes a humble pencil held the key to musical salvation. And in those moments of pencil-powered rewind, we discovered the hidden talent of multitasking—unwinding tape while sharpening our writing tool. A true masterpiece of practicality!

• Printing out your directions from MapQuest.

  Ah, the glorious era of MapQuest, where the quest for directions became a comedic adventure in itself. Armed with our trusty printed maps, we embarked on journeys that often resembled the antics of a bumbling explorer. As we obediently followed MapQuest’s turn-by-turn instructions, we discovered hidden gems like dead-end streets, construction zones, and the occasional “You have arrived at your destination” pointing us to a random cornfield. Oh, the joy of frantically folding and unfolding the oversized paper maps while driving, as if we were engaged in a high-stakes origami competition. MapQuest may have led us astray at times, but it also gifted us with tales of navigational misadventures that we still laugh about today.

• Videogames ONLY worked on channel 3 or 4.

  Do you remember the good old days when video game consoles and VCRs ruled the channels of our television sets? We were bound by the arcane laws of technology, for it was only on channels 3 or 4 that our Nintendo’s and VCRs worked. We learned to cherish the pixelated wonders and cinematic marvels that unfolded within those hallowed channels.

• The quest for movie times in the pre-digital era.

  Armed with newspapers and sheer determination, we embarked on the perilous journey to discover the showtimes of our favorite films. With ink-stained fingers and a phone receiver glued to our ears, we dialed the mystical MovieFone, hoping to unravel the secrets of cinematic scheduling. In a world where pressing buttons and listening to automated voices was our gateway to filmic enlightenment, we navigated the labyrinthine menu options, fervently praying that our movie of choice hadn’t sold out. It was a time of patience, persistence, and a touch of absurdity, as we sought the magic of cinema through archaic means.

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