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Reddit Users Share Weirdest Lies They Were Told As Kids

Author Ransom Garcia
A young girl laughs as her mother puts a plastic clown nose on her face while they wait for the Ringling Bros. & Barnum and Bailey's annual Pachyderm Parade

A thread on Reddit reminded me of one of my favorite things to do as a dad. Mess with my kid.

Playfully, of course.

All dads do it… it’s part of the job. Let me share a little gem from our family playbook: whenever my kid gets a teeny-tiny bump or scrape, I’ve got this silly trick up my sleeve. I lean in with a straight face and casually suggest, “Well, looks like we might have to cut off that limb, huh?”

Now, my kid’s older and totally in on the joke with laughing it off. But rewind a few years, and oh boy, did it used to make his eyes go wide!

Our little in-house gag is just one teeny part of the larger saga of fantastical fibs parents spin. There’s a thread on Reddit where people from all corners of the digital universe pitched in with their most outrageous childhood fibs. The results are pure gold.

Of course, you’ve got the OGs of tall tales in there. Remember how we all thought gum just camped out in our stomachs for a cool seven years? And who could forget the “no dome light while driving” golden rule? Classic!

That’s just the warm-up because some of the white lies shared are really weird.

  1. Some parents told their kids that waves at the beach are choreographed by none other than whales. Move over, ocean currents, it’s whale conductors at play.
  2. Ever met a lizard named Russell? No? One parent said that all lizards answer to that name because of how lizards like to rustle in the bushes.
  3. Here’s a good way to get out of buying Christmas gifts. During the first Iraq war, a grandpa had one kid convinced that Saddam Hussein was the true nemesis of Santa having brought down his sleigh. Of course, it all ended with a surprise plot twist: Santa lives!
  4. Remember algebra class? How about those teachers who warned you against calculator dependency? Welp, turns out they might have missed the memo on smartphones.
  5. The TRUTH about Easter Island – apparently, the Easter Bunny’s got a seriously extended vacation schedule by hanging out there for a whopping 11 months of the year.
  6. Last but not least, a mind-bending revelation about babies: They don’t just grow up, they actually swap their “baby arms” for “adult arms.” Forget about baby steps, it’s all about baby arms vs. adult arms.

So, while my little “amputation” joke adds a dash of quirky to our family antics, Reddit showed me that the universe of parent-made tales is as varied and creative as a rainbow palette of crayons. After all, isn’t that what being a parent is all about?

Ransom Garcia is the music director and afternoon host on 1079 Coyote Country. He’s been with the station since 2017, but he’s been on the Las Vegas airwaves since 2003. Although he's Vegas Born AND Raised, Ransom also has on-air duties on sister station Kiss 95.1 in Charlotte, NC. He is also set to be inducted into the Nevada Broadcasters Hall of Fame in September of 2024. Ransom writes articles about pop culture, human interests, technology, video games and anything affecting Las Vegas.

Redditors Roast Worst Baby Names They've Ever Encountered

Selecting a baby name can be tough, especially with thousands of options available. Some parents stress over the lasting influence of their child’s name, wanting to ensure a prosperous future. Trends in naming kids mirror shifting cultural norms and evolving ambitions for children.

Getting baby names right has taken on a new level of importance for expecting parents. In fact, TikTok has become a platform where creators gather substantial followings by discussing baby name trends and highlighting names to avoid due to their trendiness. They openly share names they considered but didn’t use, along with names they’d rather not encounter again. TikTok’s baby name inspiration videos now focus on various themes, including “old money” names such as Caroline, Elizabeth, and Charlotte, “main character” names like Blaze, Arrow, and Falcon, and “aesthetic” names like Rowan, Wren, and Atlas.

Celebrities are accustomed to unconventional names. Elon Musk, Tesla’s CEO, and musician Grimes named their first child X Æ A-12, often called “X.” Their second child is Exa Dark Sideræl. They also affectionately refer to their daughter as Sailor Mars, inspired by the “Sailor Moon” manga series.

“The Most Unusual Name I’ve Encountered in Real Life”

Occasionally, parents opt to invent a name, a decision that carries some level of uncertainty. While they might create something distinctive and appealing, there’s also a chance of the child being given a name perceived as peculiar by others. This situation arose for a baby, drawing significant attention on Reddit. The name of the child came to light through a thread titled, “The Most Unusual Name I’ve Encountered in Real Life.”

It reads, “So my mother just told me the name of her ex’s child and my GOD is it a doozy. He and his wife named their daughter: Audtom. Because his name is Tom and her name is Audrey. I could not f—ing believe my ears.”

The worst baby names

Commenters had strong opinions, with many criticizing the name choice. Others suggested more seamless ways to combine the parents’ names, including one person who wrote, “Assuming this is pronounced ‘Autumn’ and not ‘Odd-Tom,’ would it have killed them to just spell it Autom?”

Another person suggested, “Not me thinking ‘Tomrey’ would be better,” and another joked, “They missed an opportunity: ‘Tawdry.’”

Redditors even came up with baby names that they considered to be the worst. Take a look at some of these names below.

  • Gridget

    “When I was a kid I stayed at a bed & breakfast with family photos on the walls,” one user wrote. “There was a sister named Gridget. I actually think about this a lot.” It’s kind of like a spin on the name Bridget. This Redditor seems really stuck on the name they found.

    Stressed new mother feeling the pressure of motherhood

    nicoletaionescu/ Getty Images

  • Shanniel

    This unique name caught this person off guard. They even tried to figure it out by mixing it with other names. “I once saw a baby announcement where the mom was named Shannon, the dad was Daniel, and they named the baby Shanniel,” they wrote.

    Stressed Mom Holding Newborn Baby Outdoors

    nicoletaionescu/ Getty Images

  • Dyslexia

    Sometimes people just go with the flow when picking a name for their kid. Maybe it felt right at the time, and they didn’t even realize it’s also the name of a condition. While working at a gas station, this Reddit user observed a mother who let her child run around wild. They wrote “One small girl was pushing on a display stand and the mother screamed: ‘DYSLEXIA GET YO A– OVER HERE!”

    Pregnant Woman Trying New Eyeglasses Having Different Diopters

    nicoletaionescu/ Getty Images

  • Donnaria

    Back in school on the playground, this person probably had a rough time. This is particularly true because their name coincidentally rhymes with a sexually transmitted disease. Nevertheless, a user pointed out that it’s a clever fusion of two names. “Donnaria. A combination of her Mom’s name (Donna) and Grandma’s name (Gloria),” they wrote.

    Tired desperate mother and baby crying

  • Alcoholic Beverages

    Bacardi, Hennessy, Tanqueray, Alizé – the names keep coming. It turns out a Redditor, who happened to work in children and family services, encountered kids with names inspired by alcoholic beverages almost every day. “You don’t know how bad it really gets. Lots of kids named after alcoholic beverages.”

    Woman with baby and glass of wine

    Image Source/ Getty Images

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