When I found out my husband and I were having a boy I was so excited to be a sports mom. I played competitive sports my whole life, so it was something I looked forward to. Being that cool boy mom, that cool sports mom. And here I am living it.. minus the “cool” part.
Watching Jayden play sports is one of my most favorite things in the world. But sometimes it’s one of the hardest things in the world for my mama heart. The wins are so fun but the losses are really really hard.
When Jayden turned 3 we put him in soccer, and you could tell he was going to be athletic. I know what you are thinking… how can you tell if your toddler, soccer player is going to be athletic? They look like little ants chasing a ball around a field. You’re right.. they did look like that. But every time he took that field you would have thought that it was the World Cup! They didn’t keep score in soccer at 3 years old, but WE did! He scored most every game and we thought that our little Jayden Thomas was David Beckham. At the end of the season we bought them little trophies and he placed it proudly in his.. toy box.
Fast forward a couple of adorable ‘World Cup’ soccer years and we made the transition to football. He was 5 years old. I cried the first time I saw him with his little helmet and pads on. (pictures below) We put him right in tackle. Looking back, maybe not the best choice we’ve ever made. He didn’t play a lot in the games. He was new and little, but he never missed a single practice or a game. They ended up going to the championship game that year and came up short. He didn’t play a lot but he was devastated and cried with all of his teammates. He did get a big second place trophy that year. (They put Jayden ‘Thompson’ on it not Thomas) It didn’t matter. He was SO proud of that trophy. He put that one on his shelf in his room next to a Lightning McQueen car.
The next year we decided to put him in flag football. The league he payed in, made it clear that there would be NO participation trophies handed out. Only the championship team would get one. That was one of the main reasons we chose that league.
He was the star of the team this season though! We thought he was Jerry Rice out there at wide receiver. We made it to the championship game again, and we lost AGAIN, only this time, no trophy to take home to help stop the tears. We LOVED that about the league… until our little football player didn’t get one. But we knew the life lessons he would learn.
I had tears running down my face seeing how defeated he looked, as he picked his little head up, and with tears in his eyes, shook every little boys hand on the other team and told them congratulations. I was so incredibly proud of him but also sad. As a mom, I knew while walking over to him, what I said in that moment was going to be so important. I had to say the right thing, but I didn’t know what to say. I hugged him as he cried for a minute, and told him “the feelings you feel about this loss are going to make the wins so much sweeter in the future. You’ll get em next year.”
In fact, I would have to say those things to him at the end of every season since that one as well as after countless tournaments.
As great as his sportsmanship is, as hard as he works on his craft, my boy has never won a championship. He has gotten really close some years and finished almost last in others. Being the BEST isn’t easy. He knows that, and that’s why he works so hard. He still believes me, that he will ‘get em next year’… and so do I.
He has played sports almost his entire life. The losses never get easier but the drive he has to win, never lets up!
No, we don’t believe in participation trophies. As a mom it hurts sometimes, but, I know it’s only going to make him better because it has already MADE him better.. and that championship win that I talk to him about, will be the most rewarding win ever!
I believe he has the drive to win, because he doesn’t get a trophy every times he loses.
Sometimes we lose more than we win and that’s ok as long as you just keep swimming.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CZ49BV0gLHp/
