Andie’s Book Club: Sandwich by Catherine Newman

When my kids were little, I used to dream of the day I’d reclaim my freedom. I’d hear the term “empty nesters” and feel a pang of jealousy. Oh, the places I’d go!

But reality looks different. Between juggling their jam-packed schedules, managing my emotions about them leaving, and balancing the needs of aging parents and in-laws, I’ve realized: I am Rocky, straight out of Catherine Newman’s novel Sandwich.

Now that my kids are teens, perched on the edge of leaving home, I feel the opposite of what I once imagined. Where’s the freedom I craved? Instead of feeling lighter, I wonder: What will I do on weekends without their sports? What will my husband and I talk about at dinner if not carpools, practices, and logistics?

I’m learning that it’s vital to prioritize marriage. Kids pull us in opposite directions, but they won’t always be there to fill the space between us. Eventually, it’ll just be me and him again.

The truth is, we never stop growing. But while kids push us to evolve as parents, marriage asks us to evolve together. And when we get distracted by the chaos of raising kids we risk growing in different directions without even realizing it.

We all expect children to grow up and leave. That’s the natural order. What we’re not ready for is being “sandwiched” - pulled between letting go of our kids and taking on the care of our parents. It’s love in both directions, but it’s a messy, complicated dance.

Sandwich captures this stage of life with brutal honesty. It’s raw, funny, sarcastic, heartbreaking, and sometimes terrifying. I laughed out loud, and I cried hard.

Catherine Newman nailed it. Sandwich is a must-read for every woman in this season of life. Because truly, we’re all in it together. Thank God.