My Son Didn’t Get A Trophy

My son, Jayden will be 12 in a little over a month. I can’t believe I have been a mom for 12 years! On one hand it feels like I have been his mom my whole life, and on the other hand I remember welcoming him into this crazy beautiful world like it was yesterday.

Parenthood is the most important job of your life, and you have zero qualifications for it.

Every day there is a new challenge as a parent. Bed times, discipline, friends, balancing work and family.. the list goes on and on. Of all of the things, I never thought that him playing sports would be a challenge for ME.

From the moment I found out I was having a boy I couldn’t wait for the day that he put a little jersey on and played sports, especially football, with my husband and I both being huge fans. I have been a sports mom for 7 years. . . and let me tell you, it’s tough!

Jayden has played football for a few different leagues. His first year, he didn’t play much. Just the amount of plays they guarantee each child to play (he was little and it was his first year). His team made it to the playoffs and they lost the championship game. It wasn’t a big deal to him because he still received a huge trophy with his name on it. He loved the game and the trophy.

He played for a different league his second year, and he had become a stud! He's been one of the best players on the team every single year since then.  His second year, his team also made it to the championship game, and again that year, we lost. The difference between the two leagues . . . he didn’t get a huge trophy for losing, no consolation prize. The reason I loved the league in the beginning was because of that reason only.

That was before I saw the tears running down my baby’s face over the loss and having to cheer on the other team as they received their championship trophy and he knew he wasn’t getting one. There is no way to explain how much it hurt me seeing him hurt.

It may seem little to some, but he wanted to win.

You know, as a parent, the words that come out of your mouth after that loss are crucial. What do you say though? How do you help them deal with the feeling of losing,  the frustration, and disappointment?

I did’t say anything… I was sad too. I just hugged him. It was then I learned how strong an 8 year old could be.

After crying on my shoulder he picked his head up, wiped his tears and shook the hands of each little boy that beat him in the championship.

He learned so much that day. He learned that you don’t get a reward for losing. He learned you have to be the best to get a trophy. He also knows to be a good sport and to congratulate the winners.

Not receiving a consolation trophy has made him want it so much more! Jayden has been playing football for 7 years now and has yet to win that big championship trophy, despite playing his heart out. I still believe NOT getting a trophy was the most motivating thing that has happened to him.

Maybe this year will be the year that my 11 year old gets to win that championship. But if it's not, that's OK because it will make it that much sweeter when it happens.