What Makes Me A Good Mom

Being a mom I often ask myself, like most moms do, if I'm doing enough? Instead of beating myself up day after day I decided to ask myself. . . "what makes you a good mom?"

After thinking really hard I said "when I am present."

Not just physically present but more so mentally and emotionally present.

It made me think of a time, not to long ago, when I decided I was going to be more present.

I was feeding my then four month old right before bed. I looked down at his little hand wrapped around my thumb and took the moment in.

Later that night I wrote this on Facebook. . .

"Today my four month old was the most cranky he has been in his life. I know he's teething and I feel terrible. I've held him 95% of the day, all while making dinner, doing dishes, washing bottles. . . It's been a trying, frustrating day. Finally he was ready for bed. I took him upstairs and while feeding him, for the first time in about 3 months (embarrassingly accurate) I didn't scroll through my phone endlessly.

I just took him in. Every piece of him.

I stared at his hands, the dimples on his knuckles, the rubber bands on his wrists, forearms, ankles AND thighs (he doesn't miss a meal) I noticed he was squeezing my thumb. The thumb I would have been using to scroll through my phone endlessly. I could have counted his eyelashes. I watched him smile as he saw the angels while he was falling asleep. His eyes were half open and I kissed the middle of his forehead. As I pulled away his eyes were completely shut, as if he was just waiting for my kiss.

They don't stay this little for long. I know this because my 11 year old, my first love, is starting middle school on Monday. I remember doing the same thing to him years ago. Soaking him in. Every. Single. Piece. and it seems like yesterday. Remember, 11 years ago cell phones weren't such a hand held addiction.

So moms, if you are like me and try to catch up on the latest drama on TMZ, Facebook, Instagram while your babies are falling asleep. . . just stop. . . It will be there later.

Cherish this time. . . treat it like gold. Soak. In. Your. Baby.

They won't be this little forever."

I am proud to say I haven't taken my phone with me when I put him to sleep since that day. Instead I sing to him. I sing until his little hand falls off of mine and he is fast asleep.

Don't let those moments pass you bye. Be present.

Moms, stop beating yourselves up. Start focusing on what makes YOU a good mom.